X-Day is bearing down swiftly! Although the impending End of the World would theoretically be cause to blow everything off, for The SubGenius Foundation it's ironically the busiest time of the year. Hopefully this will be the last year, period. I spent last week doing the Church Taxes (!!), followed by the X-Day mailing, and those are both yearly chores that I wouldn't mind transcending. We have some pretty stiff bills that I would especially like to transmigrate out of having to pay.
My favorite SubGenius news forum, alt.slack, has been abuzz with excitement and ahorn with lust about 8X-Day at Brushwood, and I've compiled and edited the meat of it in an 8X-DAY DETAILS, NEWS, SPECULATIONS section.
Rev. Nickie Deathchick's Costume Ball theme this year is DIETIES. BECOME ONE. BUILD one.
Last year, we raised the $cratch for plane fare to bring in the fantastic performer and scholar Dr. Howl, but this year we're still $200 short of that goal. "BOB" has already matched your donation! Governor Rocknar has led the crusade. You can donate via Paypal via a button on the 8X-Day page, mailing a check or "buying" something from BULLDADA and then emailing me to say it's really for Dr. Howl. HURRY!
Hurry also to BUY BUY BUY before X-DAY! YOUR MONEY ISN'T WORTH ANYTHING!! BUT EVERYTHING YOU POSSESS THAT BEARS A DOBBSHEAD WILL BE WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN WEAPONS GRADE PLUTONIUM! BUY BULLDADA!
If you're into downloading free movies, alt.binaries.multimedia.slack has been freshly filled up with X-Day related short videos, including most recently the excellent "5X-Day Featurette" in MP4 and a DivX video of the intense 10-minute "music video" cut of 6X-Day. There have been several songs, then music videos or "Dobbsedeliasteses", about X-Day, and those have all been duly deposited. These aren't crappy little blurry computer mpegs but QUALITY BOOTLEGS that play from a CDR on many DVD players. And don't just download them -- UPLOAD THEM to OTHER movie newsgroups! If there is ONE MORE UNSAVED SUBGENIUS SOUL remaining out there who MIGHT make it aboard the Saucers if we make that outreach effort, then we must make that effort!
There's a huge PODCAST and stash of excellent stereo MP3s of recent Hour of Slack Radio shows at Radio4All.
Some of this is costing us a mint and we need MONEY -- not just for ourselves, but for KOOL-AID at 8X-Day, among other things. You don't want the Church handyman, Old Muleskinner, and his kids, to go hungry. We already had to sell Ol' Bessie and Ol' Bossie. So please, see if there isn't something YOU DESPERATELY NEED in the catalog -- THERE IS!! Or will be. By tomorrow I hope to have TWO new DVDs, one new CD and THREE new CDRs on the NEW CRAP page.
Now, ABOUT YOUR ORDAINMENT.
We did a mailing last week to ALL U.S. SUBGENIUS MINISTERS on our mailing list -- an 8X-Day postcard. I went over the Minister list myself in minute detail, cross-referencing it with The Akashic Records, The Book of Life, and the lists the C.I.A. trades with us -- and it looks to me like MANY OF YOU NEVER SENT IN THAT LITTLE ADDRESS AND NAME VERIFICATION POSTCARD that came with your Membership Pack! SLACKERS!
DON'T WORRY -- YOU'LL STILL BE RUPTURED UP TO THE SAUCERS ON X-DAY. You have that $30 Minister's Card/Saucer Ticket, and your Pstench is in The Book of Life. But you might not get mailings from The SubGenius Foundation.
If you bought that pack from Bulldada Time Control since last September, when total and utter control over the business fell back into Stangian Orthodox hands, you don't have anything to worry about. My personal Throne Office staff is very well disciplined by the NunSnakes. But if you bought it from the CafePress store, or the late Austin SubGenius office before The Conspiracy shut it down, and didn't mail in that card, then you probably aren't on our mailing list. If you got an X-Day postcard this week, then obviously you don't have to worry about it. If you didn't, but you bought a Membership, you should mail or fax to my office that verification postcard (or a photocopy of it, if you want to keep the purty Legume color art that's on it). That's 888-669-2323 or 216-320-9528 for the fax, or Box 181417, Cleveland Hts, OH 44118.
I do my bitching and moaning on alt.slack about the hard practicalities of being the Head Clerk of "Bob's" earthly outreach... a LOT of bitching and moaning. One of these days I'll collect those together so the newsgroup-blind can endure them if they wish to. Some of the... individuals, and the... situations... that I find myself dealing with are pretty... "funny." But I want to use this blog mainly for the really important stuff, like what YOU NEED TO BUY.
I try to save my serious RANTING for devivals, public preaching engagements, Hour of Slack and the occasional written outburst on alt.slack, which eventually sifts down into the Online Stark Fist anyway. Hmm, maybe I should change that front page to reflect the fact that this is the year 2005.
We have several very small projects and one very very LARGE project that we'd like to concentrate on, once we're aboard the Escape Vessels, or once we otherwise get this mundane earthly crap out of the way.
No end to the little tasks of a Scribe, I tell you. But I want you, dear friend, to know that I am a true SUBGENIUS of a Sacred Scribe. That means that, while I LIKE to bust ass on SubGenius projects, and especially with the Escape Vessels on their way, I am also empowered to TOTALLY BLOW THEM ALL OFF.
And so on that Slackful note, I shall take my leave.
Thank you for SHOPPING SUBGENIUS and helping us fight the Wor. See you on the Saucers!